everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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