Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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