I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I had to cum in my sink.
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