don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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