is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
