Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
