She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
