how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
