my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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