My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
