We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
