i jhust puked up my retainher.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
