you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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