On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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