The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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