Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
