I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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