what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
