I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
