I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
