i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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