I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize