You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
