Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
