Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
