I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
