Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
