i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
They have beer where we have blood.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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