just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
