Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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