would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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