I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
