You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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