Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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