you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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