When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize