Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize