Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
