Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
