That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
