the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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