My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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