Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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