I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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