is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
