1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
