If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize