You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
