Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
