It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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