Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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