my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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