Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Floor bacon is actually really good
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
