Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's never too late to be topless.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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