There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
