It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
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Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm having to shit out rocks
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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