Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
