I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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