I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
