fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
